02 /* Sagittarius the Owl
This is but a rough draft so far
I have a tremendous amount of knowledge to edit and re~write
into the following pages as I still have also the second half of this story to write down here but, there is a wonderful story here to read just as it is
Come back often and catch up as I add new content daily
And Gray’Owl looks deep into his heart centering his energies entering the silence of self, looking even deeper into his mind and gently with a soft yet firm voice he begins to speak,
Have I raised any questions into your mind?
What is it you want to know ?
Ask and I will tell you
I . . .
Was . . .
That your heart I just saw a fleeting glimpse of
I am always watching you
I am waiting, for you to come home
I love you
I miss you far more than you can know
My tears can heal this day and so again it must be tomorrow
But you have found yourself here in these words
My open heart for all to see
What do you think?
Sit back close your eyes and think for a moment or two…
what do you think?
Agree or disagree
your going to read on
you are caught in the web I weave
This circle of life
Should I tell you all about your self?
Do you really want to know?
Ask and you shall receive
Who wants to go first?
This is me… my circle of life
the Ancient wisdom of knowing the truth
and nothing but the truth
This is what it is all about, do not worry, do not pout
I’ll tell you the truth about everyone with out doubt
Some times I feel I should shout !
just Like the OWL so often does in the dead of night
Tony R. March (birth name)
Tony Gray’Owl (given Cherokee, Shaman Name)
born December / 9 / 1953
First son born to Ralph March my earth Father
Margaret Shepard my earth mother
In astrology I am called the Sagittarius
The archer, the seer of things, focused intently yet patiently
on my target
In ancient times I am the owl
symbol of wisdom and knowing
How deep do you want to go?
I am a pompous ass, I believe what I believe
just the way you believe what you know, Or think you do!
See what I mean?
May I have your attention for a few moments?
OK this is the revelation of me
High atop the the tallest mountain I think, I can see every target,
clearly with great Clarity, I am focusing the powers of creation
This one weapon that I have
my… arrow. . . what ! I only have one?
What if I miss?
What will I do then?
So without further questioning I took aim
and let fly my arrow of love…
it is all I have . . . my single Arrow of True Love
as the Centaur, the Wounded Healer I let lose
my Earth Medicine, i set Free Upon the World
my LOVE in hopes to heal everyone
I knew the love that I had poured out into it
the creation of it
Its full intent
Is this… my thoughts of you ~ I see your heart
you cannot hide it from me I am Focused with Greatest of
Intent upon your Heart
The eyes of truth always upon you, the eyes of God
From this you cannot get away
I see “you”
Your right there in front of me
the driving force, that gives me the strength to go on
When will you know that your are loved?
When my love… when
My love you are the only one to me
Don’t you remember the equation my mathematical genius…
I = U .
cant be said any simpler than that
There is nothing you may ever feel that I have not already lived
And if you do, I admire you!
Bravo! Hallelujah… Amen
Praise to God all things
Are his ~ As am I
OK here, is a script into life for any one like me
The owl, is my birth totem
I was born into wisdom
This is my birth right
As the first son
To inherit… every-thing
What else can I say?
Hmmmmmm………. should I lie?
What would that gain me?
Yeah I know
OK, are you ready for the truth?
Sit back and take a deepppp breath of me
I can touch you in ways you’ve never known!
I’m going to tell you the story of me
and then I will tell the story of you
You I think will soon agree It is the “way” you give your love away
That’s what counts
So what is it about me, you want to know?
What makes me tic?
Or who I am?
This is me, this is who I AM is
You can take the full tour and walk the circle getting to know
every one, or you can just fast forward to you
Its your choice
This is me
Do you not hear my words?
Am I speaking to softly?
Alright, I’ll turn up the volume! Echoes into the night… silent dreams go by. This is where my prayer is said. Father! forgive them for they do not know what they are doing. I forgive them all, please father. Forgive them also. Isn’t this what was said? By our Lord. Who are we to disagree, With him? Who are you? I may ask. Who are you?
No no no first I must tell you all about me then when you know me, you will know yourselves and understand. What I meant. When I said what I said. About me. Forth coming. Me!
I am the master… everyone seeks. Let me see? Math is their example of every-thing. Don’t get no more basic than this… I = U . in laymen’s terms… I equals you. I am. Are you? I care about everyone, I cant help it. That’s just me. I am who I am. Come take a look at me. You’ll soon agree. That I can see! Maybe more than you want to… see. Or do you really even want to know? The “you” I’ve come to know. Now it is time for you to know me. The way I know you. I have walked the circle and got to know every one. I know each of you intimately. Don’t you think I don’t for a moment, doubt you. I believe in you. What you say. I am listening. I am grateful. And so it seems… that on this day here I am, talkin… to people, around the globe all at one time. At the same time all of them. This takes a tremendous effort on your part. Focus… pay attention! What are you aiming for? I’m sorry was I shouting? Hello; is any one there? Hello…
are you there? Are you listening, to me? What, who am I? I am me.
what more do you want me to be?
You don’t have to come and get me. I am right here.
Right in front of you.
You can’t help but see me.
My words are showing…
who I am, is. Can I just first say this? My statement. I forgot what I was going to say. What? Me with no thought? I don’t think so. What?
Where you thinking?
Were you thinkin.
Before you leaped. You must focus your direction. Take aim. If you will.
Make your thoughts be still, and listen. I will tell you everything. How to take aim.
How to strike right to the heart of the matter.
I simply see it.
Even though I am blind. You cannot hide from me. The straight flights of my arrow. Strikes,
you cannot get out of the way.
My arrow swift and accurate beyond your understanding even your imagination.
Once let fly… it will never cease to find its focused target. You! My friend. Have been targeted! Soon your heart will be pierced with my arrow you cannot get away.
I am taking aim at you, I am looking at who you are or seem to be.
I am not judging you, its just the way I see. Who you are, that you show to me.
With my eyes I see… yet with my mind I see even more.
Is that you knocking on my door?
Hello. Hello, are you there? Hello; hello… can you hear me? I lost my towers damn. I hate when that happens.
OK, let me try again from a different perspective, I am. Aren’t I ? Are you?
I think I am, don’t you?
Think you are?
Hello is there any body out there? Are you all in outer space? Hello is there anyone out there? Hello… can you hear me… now?
Was my voice to soft for you to hear… these things I whisper in the night. Dreams.
Remembered, from within your sight on this night.
As we speak…
me to you, and you to me!
Doesn’t it just feel right?
What is it then that’s within my sight, that I may exercise my right, to be who I am. And this ain’t none of my business.
Has nothing to do with me.
Isn’t it funny it all works out.
It all works out.
It makes me even want to shout! Hello; is there any, body out there? Anyone home?
I guess I have to leave a message. At the tone.
Hello is this your phone?
It is me.
Don’t you see?
Who I am?
Regardless of what you think.
I agree with everything he said.
Your response will always be. The same, I fear.
Why did I do that?
You have to ask?
I’ve got this feeling… yes, yes it is important… I think.
There for I am.
Really I mean.
I am, aren’t I ?
yes I have no doubt who I am.
I know the equation of life.
I am me, aren’t you?
Take a deep breath and relax… allow… accept… bless it, let it be.
In gratitude comes all things.
OK so who am I?
Well… let me think. Who am I?
I am the king of glory, I will pursue you with my love.
For you are everything to me.
Love is my arrow that will pierce your heart. this is who I am.
I set free Gods love upon the world. It is simply what I do.
According to the circle of life, the ancient medicine wheel.
Birth dates, Nov. 23 – DEC. 21
Earthly influence – the long nights time.
Winds of influence – the west wind
Direction – North, west
Driving elements – Fire and Earth. Function – changing things
my birth and animal totem is the Owl, my totem – is the Grizzly bear, my plant totem – Mistletoe, my mineral totem – Obsidian, my polarity totem – is the Deer.
These are the things, my strength of connection with the mother earth are made,
my focused attention, my conscious aim… is Understanding, everything.
My desire, is fueled by determination, focused intent.
My intention, is of Objectivity, accept all things as they are and bless them.
My feelings are, warm and it is my nature to be Sincere.
My personality, is jovial, independently adventurous, with a warm-kindheartedness.
My life path is of Elevation, to touch the soul of everyone.
According to the Chinese, I Ching trigram – I am, Ken. The still mountain,
With enthusiastic Optimism, I concentrate with my focus for singleness of purpose.
My Yin and my Yang are perfection in balance. I am one. With all.
Those of us born into this, the long nights time, are very thoughtful people, with an ability to seek out “things” in others hearts and minds, as well as from within ourselves.
The influence that comes from the west winds, brings clarity of mind and thought. Which is so very necessary to cope with change and renewal of spirit.
We who are born at this time, attain a clear sense of our own direction in life.
To lead, not follow, for this reason, by example we are not constantly changing our influence, we are focused and our vision is penetrating which allows us to see the more stimulating ways to the regeneration of your inner fire.
On December, 9, 1953… I was born into this my life, here is where I stand…
I am standing at a cosmic gateway, I am its key, to understanding the recognition of the rebirth of cosmic-consciousness. A very potent place as it symbolizes, the Initiation of an essential preliminary to spiritual re-birth as well. It has been referred to as the Christ-consciousness. Through this gateway… is exposed the mysteries of life, in order to pass this gateway I had to demonstrate that I had learned the proper use of the power I have been given. One of the greatest of these is the power of creative thought. This cosmic portal is also the place of Karma, where the experiences of life past and present are integrated to formulate the lessons to be learned and to effectively apply them into life. To teach. The way of life in balance.
We are motivated by an “inner-fire” that drives us to accept these new challenges, to become a pioneering leader, we the Owl people in pre-Christian times were held in great respect, the Owl is associated with the mind and in wisdom of the sacred science, of life. We are very introspective in our thoughts, to emphasis that we are not here so much to gather the knowledge but, rather to impart it. We can help you to stabilize and sustain the influence that is vital in the realization of New ideas and Ideals, our influence is a step by step approach that insures firm footing with each move forward with an emphasis on carefulness, thoughtfulness, kindness, which is the foundation blocks we build with in proper discernment. We are so observant that very little, if any thing of relevance…
Goes unseen, Or escapes our attention our eye of detail is very keen, with a deep insight into what ever we set, or focus our minds on. We are drawn to instinctively follow our basic urge which is to be solidly grounded in practical reality. Yet to open your mind to the spiritual thinking and the true meaning of life. We the Owl people, are very closely associated with this knowledge, that which is hidden and with a light that shines into the darkness of life, like the full moon in a star lit night. We often find ourselves aware, in some mystical way of simply knowing, the reality of a situation, long before their effects are obvious or have been made aware of, to everyone else. We simply see right to the heart of the matter. This is a form of our illumination, that precedes your awakening. With out ever losing sight of the heart of our focused target, I see your despair my compassion radiates my love to you, my emphasis is on inspiring you and to comfort your pain. It is fixed in my mind, my target or my goal is clear, I have the power and determination to achieve the vision of my desire for you. To set you free, to allow you to be, who you truly are, my love is courageous it will find the way whether through visionary, exploring or pioneering a new way for you to follow. An old road. In the liberty of my own conscience, Karma, ensures that your responsibilities will arise again appearing in perhaps different circumstances, yet the same lesson is there to be learned. To be free does not mean to run away from, but to embrace the change that comes with self realized, responsibility for your own thoughts and actions, you must find or “see” your self at the very center of all things, determine with liberty your own choices, as apposed to having them made for you, or influenced by others who have not yet seen the light, to accept the consequences of your own decisions, to be the master of life, your life. Well informed and illuminated. This pathway I am illuminating, is intended to lead you to the discovery of whatever, is required outworldly, must be recognized as having been first found existing inwardly, the self knowing of the prime purpose which is to manage to attain the highest level of self ever thought possible. To be. As I am expanding my own spiritual horizons, I am leading you to your own, to yourself, after all isn’t that what you really, wanted to know? Who you are. What you are doing here?
What is the purpose of your life? Isn’t that what you really want to say?
With focused intent this is what I meant… STOP!
Stop beating yourselves down, stop judging yourselves so harshly, forgive yourselves freely and all others, set yourselves free, live and let live… just be the very best you can in your own eyes. Does it matter so very much what is in my eyes? You are your judge, go ahead, set yourselves free. You are your own prison guard take out your key let yourselves be, knock down the door, step out into your reality, learn the lessons of your life and apply them in wisdom to your daily life in such a way that you enhance the joy of yourselves as well as every living soul within your reach. This is what I teach!
With focused intent, did you get what I meant?
Do you, see? Have you been listening?
This is me, who I am, is.
I know I said I was going to tell you all about yourselves, but first…
let me tell you a story, if I may.
Of my life. In kind of a dreamy way.
Today may be, the first day of the rest of your life.
I have looked into the eyes of the Great Grand Father, God, Buddha, Alla, or as you wish to call Him. I have heard his words, as clear as an azure blue sky without wisp of cloud. Yes even more clearly so very clear as a drop of pure rain on a flower petal. He has instructed me in the ways of life. How to receive the forgiveness you are seeking, unconditionally. The way to His UN-conditional LOVE.
There are many trails that will lead you to this the “ONE” pathway in this life that will bring you here to the edge of this pathway at which I stand. Come I will be your guide, I will take your hand and walk with you from beginning to the end of this most marvelous of journeys. The beginning of your epic adventure into the rest of your life as never before possible for you, as this pathway is hidden from the eyes of everyone except to the eyes of the little children’s. I am hoping to open the eyes in you my child.
I shall exercise the power I have been given and Illuminate the way for you to see.
With your eyes… a clear look into my heart.
Said here in the words of God himself…
To My Children’s, Children,s, Children
I am watching and waiting for someone who will understand me.
I am watching and waiting for anyone that can hear me.
Why has it taken you so long? Soon you shall see me…
I will be all around you… waiting here for you to share… my Love.
Watching and waiting for someone who understands me… I hope… it will not be long.
I am watching and waiting for… YOU.
MY tears of love could heal you on this day and so my day must be tomorrow, and you to me are the only one…
If the sun refused to shine, I’d still be here loving you. If the mountains crashed into the sea, I’d still be here for you and me. I do not care what others say, for they do not know My way. Hear! What I have said to My children who are listening.
Hello My little children… of all these lands. Are you trying to understand?
Hello My children playing in the sand. Do you hear the Voice at My command?
My little children laughing their time away, for they have heard what I have to say.
Thus they know what I have planned, Lend an ear you too will understand.
I give to you this the melody… this the Music… this laughter of Joy that fills My heart to the point of bursting… I offer you freely… I give it a gift to each of you hoping,
this Joy you will feel as your heart I draw near… to Me. All these things…
I offer for you to embrace… simply open your heart to me and with such delicate grace… I will create the needed space… for all of this to take place… within the gravity of My Love there is no escape… once you have heard the essence of my word…
I am watching and waiting… I hope it wont be too long… I am watching and waiting… for you. I merely need… Touch… the very soul of everyone… for this to be done… My love I give to you… a gift wrapped up in tinsel string tied… all it needs to be is opened wide… and at last… you have allowed me to come inside. For only here is my wish to abide… to never again be from your side.
Together… for always… Eternity and a day.
I have conceived the things of Heaven… Flourishing upon the Earth…
For here is where it can all begin… simply give to me this thing that you call sin…
With open heart I shall have received… this thing you have so longed to be relieved.
Openly forgiveness… completely forgiveness… totally forgiveness… unconditionally…
Forgiven. How else? May I say it more gently for you to understand me?
Ask and you shall have received…
Absolute Forgiveness… if in Me you simply believe.
From these words I shall never leave.
Where do we go from here? Put away your fear! To Me draw near…
This is the Eden that I have sown, for all to see that I have shown, my loving way the earth forever it may stay. If you only believe in “Me” this day. These are the words I spoke into your dreams from which you’ve never awoke. Slumbering babes afraid to awake to the realization of your own mistakes. All those things that you’ve been taught is to me all for naught. Why do you chase those other dreams the terrible things of mans schemes. I created your world in great abundance for all to share of its vast substance. Far more than enough for everyone who shall ever live to have everything they would ever need if only they will plant this one seed, Love… The one… The only thing…that is, everything… you will ever need.
All the rest is simply Greed.
Take all that you need but share the best with the weary ones that need to rest. Through out all time as known to man around the globe you now span. Yet still you attempt to gather so much it causes you to spill. Is this the strength your stubborn will? Which exceeds your fill?
This mighty greed… This evil need… This poison seed… will make you bleed.
From its lust you continually feed… ever sowing, ever growing, this thing you breed. Why? My words you do not heed. When it is away from it that I lead. Turn around do you see the devastation you have laid upon the ground.
Where is my Love to be found?
What is right? What is wrong? Our most cherished desires drowned in an ocean of lust to have everything it seems we must. Take flight… get away… please listen to what I say, a new beginning on this day, if you just let me have my way.
Together the rest of the world we can sway.
I am watching… I am waiting… for you. What are you going to do?
The answer to this question… I already know.
Which of these seeds you are about to sow.
Life is a most curious thing… I know this for sure about life.
I know it can be so demanding, I know it can leave you in a cloud of dust, I know it can be so very unkind. Life… yes I said life is a curious thing. Let me tell you a story about life. How a mountain is made from a mole hill, for life is surely a curious thing.
So let me tell a curious little story about one mans life.
Like with a candle in the dark just lit, you will see what has always been right there. All around you, from the beginning of your very first breath. This is but one of those lives that I have given. Long before you were livin, this thing you call your life.
you asked me who your are, now pay attention… listen,
closely to where it all began, I will take you.
Turn the page!
Soon after the beginning, the creation of things known and never to be known.
God created again and I was born, a human being, a living soul within me. I touched, I smelled, I tasted, I experienced the living emotions within me, I saw the limitless wonders of my fathers creations. Fresh, pristine, exquisitely conceived and crafted by my father, all for me. My pure pleasure of it. I took great delight in my discoveries of his creations. All of these things my father had made. What an artist, what a sculptor, what an eccentric genius he is.
Everything. Its vastness beyond the limits or grasp of my young mind. For you must see, I was still but a small child. Almost stumbling and crawling around in the dark alone when he was not there with me. To guide me, to teach me the knowledge and the wisdom of creation, the secrets of life. I would run like the wind until I could go no further. I jumped and spun falling on the ground rolling in the sweetness of the grass. I went swimming in the ocean and the rivers. I named… every living creature! As every one of them are my friends! We played together for endless days, laughing till I hurt from it. They were all so innocent, just like me. What? You never thought of me as a child? Of course he created me as a small child. How else was I to grow into the man I was to become? You never knew that? Your so silly. Just like the innocent child you are.
After a great span of time had passed. I had grown into a strong young man. No longer did I stumble around in the dark… For…I had realized,
that I AM the light into the world. Where ever I went it simply followed. Everything I touched, grew and blossomed into beautiful flowers beyond the colors of the rainbows, their sweet smelling aromas filled the air and my mind, then they produced their luscious fruits and nuts for me to enjoy. I was never ceased to be utterly amazed at the things I found. To turn over a stone in the creek and here… a new life was discovered. I loved the greatness of my fathers mind beyond words. I simply adored my father. I wanted to be just like him. Yet there was something… something…
I just didn’t quite understand. I couldn’t see it clearly in my mind.
It seemed to me somehow that every thing, well a lot of things were changing. Every thing was growing and transforming into larger more complex states of existence.
When I was a boy my father would come into the garden and we would go for long walks or sit under the shade of a large tree and he would point out things and ask me questions about them. He told me wonderful stories of the adventures he had created. He explained to me in great detail about everything I asked. Mostly I just took his word for it. The beautiful stories he told like dreams yet to unfold in my memory. Great adventures to be dawned and explored. Concepts and realities, beyond my young minds ability to fathom. My imagination stretched to its limits,These are the things of my memories, the days when my father would come into the garden and teach me the lessons of life. Just him and me. Together for eternity it seemed we laughed and played games. His gentle teachings and my grasping at it all. Mostly I was lost in the bigness of him.
His kind, gentle, knowing. The way he illustrated his thoughts in such perfection. That smile, warmed me like the sun. Every creature flocked to get a moment of his attention. Some how it seemed almost all at once there was always time for every one of them. Each to be filled and given to bursting with his love for even the tiniest of his creations. I always smiled at the way he treated each of them and how they would all love him in return of his attention, his affections, he simply, I think did not know how Not… to love them.
This is the one lesson that I cherish of all the others, the not knowing, of how not to love completely, totally, with out abandon, unconditionally. This was the first thing he had taught me, how… to love.
That without questioning, without the slightest of doubts, when you give your love it “Must” be freely, completely, not an ounce of it can you withhold and you can never, ever take it back. If you were to even think… of taking away your love, it would be far simpler, far kinder to just end the life of the one you gave it to instead. This gift my father taught me above all else must never be taken away. As Love is the power of creation itself. My father never created any thing that was not held fast in his love for it, of it and the love he poured out into it.
No matter how insignificant it may have seemed.
He is love.
Innocent like a child is he, my father, he does not know how… not to love you. This… is my father. My teacher. My very best friend. Your… Great Grand Father. GOD. These things that are my memories. My life as I have lived it. I am writing down here for you… everyone to come to know my father, the way I know our father. Your father, the one you thought you had never known. He will never remove his love from you, you… are… his love, exemplified, magnified, multiplied… here on earth, within each of you, is the example of his unconditional love, alive and free to be what ever you choose. I would simply say… I pray you chose wisely. Further I will ask if I may. What have you done with this power you have been given? These are of the questions you will be asked on that day… you… call… judgment. What will be your answer? Only you can say.
I have drifted from the story, let me return.
I get lost in the love of him. I am so sorry, I cannot help my self. I get carried away, for the love of him. It is so easy to do. To get lost in him, found if you may… from your endless seeking. The answers to all that you may ask. Are here, if you but listen to these words of my memories, the teachings of our father.
So simple that they cannot be understood, for their lack of complexity, that you must try to dissect in order to put a definition in word of them. Listen then if you will, I shall continue with my story.
OK so where was I? Ah yes, over the millenniums I had grown into a strong young man. Everything it seemed to me was changing somehow though. I was struggling to understand what exactly was going on. I did not yet comprehend the extent of my fathers knowledge, his wisdom so to speak. I was still caught in the innocence of my youth. (The chicken?)
I began to have these thoughts, and then these dreams began to come upon me. For the best of me I could not… Figure it out. I had begun to have these feeellliiinnngggsss. An urge for something unknown to me. I did not understand. These powerful needs that I had never felt before. I could not resist the thoughts of them. They filled my mind even when I am wide awake… when I am in charge of my thoughts and yet, still they over came me. I was consumed by these thoughts. Every day they filled my mind and stole themselves into my dreams. These thoughts… of what? I was trying to understand. To comprehend, the meaning of them. I was lost. I had no clue, to what was about to happen.
One day when these thoughts over came me in great abundance, I decided to walk over to the mountains and climb to the very top. It was a very long journey, to the mountains. To climb to the very top of them was even more arduous. Where I had never been before. To stand… within the clouds. To seek, that which was never withheld from me. I fell upon my knees and cried out to my father. I am lost! I do not know what is happening to me! Never other than the love of you… have I felt this way. It over powers me, I cannot get away from the thoughts of it. What is this? Please tell me.
Out of nowhere, from everywhere, He appeared in answer to my desperate cry. What is it my son he asked in reply? As concerned to me, as I must have seemed to him. What is it that you seek to know so badly, so terribly, that you had to come all the way to the mountain top, to ask me? In such a desperate cry? I am here… ask and I shall tell you. The limits even of your dreams. I will show you.
Over come I simply sat right down and began to cry… no… to weep from the very essence of my soul, never before had I known such… emptiness an utter loneliness…
A feeling completely unknown to me. I have never been, alone… before.
and yet here are these emotions, these feelings, overwhelming me. What is this father? What is happening to me? I do not understand it. He said to me, Stop! Thinking just for a momentarily split second of time. Look around you. Do you not see? What has begun? Look. To the seasons of things, as I have designed them. Each and every one of them, including you, my son will seek, no… be driven to procreate. I have concluded. That in this way my love is be to passed on to them all. Everyone of them, and everyone of you. I love. Beyond…
Again I began to weep, I said to him, father explain to me this dream that I seem to have, night after, night. And day, after day. I do not understand it. Please tell it to me. The way you have conceived these things and designed them to be. Is it me? that you wish to change? I could find the world if you only left it to me. Who am I ? Too ask You. If I where to change everything. What is it that I would do? That would be so very different from you? Again I was racked with sobs of despair.
He smiled that quirky smile of his when you know that he knows exactly what to say. He reached out his hand to me, lifting me into one of his tender hugs, and said…
ssshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Calm down, every so sweet and softly in my ear. I relaxed and with a huge sigh of relief, I sat down to listen to the wisdom of my father.
Again that radiant smile and the soft glowing light from him encompassed me. As he spoke I drifted off to sleep and awoke in a dream, the world of visions.
The world of my fathers vision.
As I slowly opened my eyes. I found myself in a dim, yet crystal clear dark space and I was leaning back on the hearth of a most beautiful luxuriant fire place. Softly crackling the fire lit like a ghost at first but then as my eyes adjusted to the light I saw a vision… of the most incredible beauty I had never seen. The look on my face must have been quite the sight to see. As I gazed at this vision of… of… an angel, I thought at first. But! He… no… wait it is not a man, and there are no wings to be seen… no not an angel either. What is this… this… ? I couldn’t think straight.
As I struggled with my thoughts my emotions running wild, a word formed into my memory, she… SHE? Yes… SHE! I was frozen… as if I had became a stone sculpture, my breath was literally taken away, I could not speak. A huge tight lump had formed in my throat, my heart began to pound and then ache, my stomach tied itself into a knot, I was overwhelmed by the sight of her. My mind now racing to grasp, to take in the infinite wonderful little details of her, this vision! I felt my self trembling and tingling all over.
Smiling she leaned forward towards me placing a hand on either side of me. The brilliant yet so soft of a light or glow yes… she was glowing like my father does when he is up to something. This soft radiant glow slowly encompassed me as well, as she drew even closer to me. Then I caught the scent of her… Hmmmmm… a wonder beyond even the sweetest of flowers, her essence enthralled me. I took in a huge breath of her filling my lungs to capacity, my mind was whirling from it, slowly I released my lungs and I had my breath back and the lump in my throat was easing its grip on me, I could not yet speak.
Slowly like eternity I raised my hand to touch her face, as my finger tips brushed her cheek, I… I… she was incredibly soft, so smooth! I nearly flinched from the sensations of the mere touch. She moved closer and I could feel her sweet breath on my skin and trembled again. Looking deep into her dark eyes, I saw the wonder and the excitement, a smiling almost. I drank in with my eyes the gentle curves of her face and neck line, her hair tickling my chest was maddening. I was pulsing with the vision of her angelic form. I took another deep breath and let it out ever so slowly. She then took in a deep breath of my essence tilting her head back just ever so slightly and to one side, closing her eyes she only half smiled, I thought how incredibly beautiful she is, I could not take my eyes away from her. She opened her eyes and a full smile filled her face and I think she nearly giggled. I wanted to laugh out loud madly, I was feeling insane. I kept trying to think yet all I could do was see this vision of her in my mind, it overwhelmed ever thought I had.
Now so close to me was she that we where nearly touching. I gazed into her star lit eyes and for a split second I thought I saw myself. Like… like a… the word what is the word? My mind racing again… mirror… yes mirror! She is the mirror of me! It was I think her soul, I had caught a glimpse of, my soul. Our soul, yes our soul!
It is as if we are one, the same, exact and yet so different at the same time. I marveled at this thought! Again I nearly burst into a mad laughter, I felt so alive! I felt so completely whole! I felt… I… I didn’t know what I was feeling, this, this… ecstasy was beyond my dreams. I felt wild!
Still without a word, she lay down beside me, nearly on me! One leg stretched out along side of mine, the other crooked over my lower half, one arm reaching over me and stroking with her fingers my arm. She laid her head upon my chest and shoulder, placing her face against the side of my neck. Oh.. oh, I thought I would explode from it! I felt as if she had melted right into me! The utter joy washing over me spilling out upon her. I closed my eyes only for a moment with the fear that when I again opened them she would be gone. Slowly almost afraid to, I opened my eyes to see if she is still here with me.
The look, the smell, the touch of her against my skin, was more than I could stand my senses gone wild. I became so filled with this emotion, this one emotion grew and grew until my heart began to ache from it. My chest heaved in a great sigh, my eyes closed tight of their own accord… and a single tear escaped the corner of my eye and began its slow journey down my cheek.
She raised ever so sightly, with the most enchanting look in her eyes, as they closed slowly and she leaned in and kissed away my lost tear, with the most gentle tenderness and… and… affection! It seemed to last for eternity! She leaned back looking into my eyes piercing my heart like an arrow. I gazed back into her eyes and saw there, that she also could not hide the emotions of it from me. She leaned into me and our lips came together for the first time, the very first kiss of time… her lips full still slightly moist from my tear of joy softer then anything I had ever touched, I simply became lost in her. Stronger than any emotion I had ever felt it came into my mind… Love… yes I love her… I leaned my head back onto the hearth closing my eyes just for a moment savoring the memory of her, our kiss, I could still smell her essence, the vision of her beauty filling my thoughts… I thought this… this, this is why my father had taught me how to love.
I slowly drifted back into my deep sleep.
I awoke with a start! Groggy yet my mind still reeling from the thoughts of my dream, a dream… was that a dream? It was so real. My eyes burst open and I jumped up so quickly I nearly stumbled and fell over. Gathering my thoughts I looked around to see if my father was still here with me. Breathing as if I had just ran up the mountain, I attempted to get my breath. I had to lean over with my hands upon my knees gasping for air. I heard a near silent laughter, and turned my head to look. It was my father standing there all aglow, literally he was glowing like the sun yet as soft as the moon, one of those smiles spreading across his face.
I turned standing up straight and stepped towards him. He immediately held up one hand and stopped me dead in my tracks. I cannot recall the look perhaps upon my face for every emotion I had ever had came crashing in on me all at once, fear and a terrible aching in my chest, I was nearly crying again. He looked me straight into my eyes so very strongly and at the same time so utterly tender and caring, he asked did you sleep well my son? I blurted out No! I did not sleep! I had a dream… a Vision! It seemed that it was all he could do not to bust out laughing and I felt my cheeks burn, with frustration, no, anger… I was angry that he was all but laughing at me. He quietly said calm down my son, relax, catch your breath. So, you had a Dream?
Please tell me about it.
In great detail I told him my vision, he simply nodding and smiling the whole time. His eyes glistening with the thoughts of it all. When I finally finished, my excitement almost out of control. He said very interesting, what do you make of this vision of yours? I do not know father I am so very confused by it all. Never have I felt this way, never have I had such a vision. Can you explain to me the meaning of this dream? I asked him. He smiled and said… do you really think that it was merely a dream or even a vision? I have waited your life time for you to come to the realization of this moment. To Love, to know love, like you never knew it could be. Not merely to love, but rather this perfect time you are now “in” love, consumed by the power of it, the gravity of it has you in its grip. Your passion expanding, your desires exploding, do you think I would tempt you with heaven and not allow you the reality of it? Again that smile.
Nearly all but laughing, he was looking right straight into me. He asked me then this one question… Now, do you understand how much… I Love you? I am in love with you my son, you are my most cherished of all creation. You, my son. I give to you all of my love… at this he began to bring out his hand that was behind him the whole time. But! Instead of an empty hand, there out from behind him… you, There You are! My dream, my vision, my love. I nearly fainted away, the Love that filled me, spilling out all around almost like a foggy mist it spread out from me. Those eyes, that smile, I could see the anxiousness in her eyes as well as mine. She looked up into the eyes of the father, and he merely nodded with that gentle smile and let her free. She nearly ran to me, jumping into each others arms, an embrace beyond Ecstasy, we cried the tears of joy. Together at last as one. I am… one, I am whole. The mirror of my soul here in my arms. Loving me. The way I love her. Totally, completely, Eternally.
All but laughing from his joy, tiny tears in the corners of his eyes, I ran to him and with the greatest of gratitude ever shown I hugged him and kissed his cheek, whispering I love you so much, father, I do not know what to say other than thank you, thank you from the very essence of my being, from the joy that fills my heart I thank you. How? What did I do? To deserve such loving kindness, such grace in your sight?I hugged him again and wiped away his tears of joy. We simply stood there looking into each others eyes and I knew the answer to everything. I understood the utter loneliness of not having the affection of your heart alive in your life. I understood, the vastness of his love for me. I understood the term desperate, yet knew the temper of it with patience. If you allow the father his way unfettered he will expose your dreams come true to you. He will show you love beyond the meaning of the word. He is the literal expression of it. He is… love. All things were created with this the most powerful will of creation, he wielded for me his love and look the gift I received. The gift of life itself, handed over to me and her. Together she and I will create the world of man. Using the power of creation itself, Love.
I could no longer hold the tears of joy in, any longer, I wept of shear happiness, my senses, my emotions racked into near sobs. I could not believe it, the joy…
how else can I say it?
I do not know the words, no, there are none. Any word that I can think of falls short, joy… is simply, joy. Accept and live! I turned back to her, and to my surprise she was right there by my side. The most incredible look of concern on her face, her eyes searching mine, so I smiled that smile, the one father uses when he is up to something. I looked her deep into her eyes and said… I, Love You. This, exquisitely beautiful innocent look that came upon her face. Bore the tears back to my eyes. I wiped them away on the backs of my hands and reached out to her. My hand, she placed her hand into mine with the utmost of grace, and it was like the angels were singing everywhere. They began to blow there horns, such a sound! I wish you could hear it.
We looked at each other smiling and began to dance. It just happened. The shear sweetness of it expanding my imagination. My thoughts, my emotions, running wild, I am wild my heart is pounding, my soul coursing through my veins. I am so… Alive! The power of it, like lightning in the air, crackling all around us. We danced. And We Danced. For we had just become one in the breath of life, hers and the passion of mine. Her life was given for me! She was created for me, by God… my dreams realized right in front of my eyes, manifested right out of everywhere. By my father for me! I love you so, so very much, words… look into my heart, you will see! I cannot say in word the wonder of this day.
The angels sang and blew the horns, we danced till we could dance no more and fell to the ground laughing. The beauty, the innocence of the moment. Two children bathed in the love from their father. Simply allowed to be. The object of his affection.
Wow! Did you ever think you might be the object of his affection?
Yeah I’m talkin to you. I’m allowed to interrupt if I want to.
What? don’t you see me? Aren’t you reading me like an open book right now?
I am allowed to say what I say, so are you. What do you think? Right now?
What are you thinking? Think about it for a few minutes, your thoughts, think about them! Think.
Back to the story,
Laughter racking our bodies, my sides about to split. I laughed so hard it hurt. We couldn’t take our eyes off of each other. Father could not contain himself any longer, hands on his knees, he let out a laugh of all laughs, from the joy of us, he received, in return of his Love, for us. You see he simply doesn’t know, how not to love us. We are the object of his affection. He lives for us. He lets us live, what ever life you choose. Who ever you want to be at this very moment. So who you gonna be? Me? Well I am just me.
When finally we caught our breath, we sat up and looked at each other… still amazed by it all. Kind of all starry eyed. Just lookin at each other.
Two perfect children,
the beginning of everything, that will ever be written down.
Who knows? Only time can tell.
The story of your life. Is that what you want to know?
Who you! Are?
Your asking, me?
Over the next many pages, I will expose to you, who you are.
I think, there for I am…
and so are you.
What do you think? How did you like the story? Ultimate love. Did you learn how to wield the different powers of love, or see their meanings? When you arrive here…
at this most crucial point in your life, what will you choose to do?
Will you dance from the shear joy of it?
The Love, from God… his gift to you.
What will you do?
Only time can tell.
The story of your life…
as never before told! News flash!!!
ummm. I’m alive. Hello, is there anybody out there? Hello. Hello!………
so who’s next?
Who wants to go second, I went first. I exposed myself. My heart, to you. Hmmmmm………
let me see… should I see you? or should I kiss you, so you’ll understand,
that the tears, that are upon your own cheeks are mine…
the joy I set free!
you heard me.
I said free
what if I didn’t say anything?
Where then would we be?
Would you be reading these words?
If I hadn’t said anything?
So who are you?
Your heart, you cannot hide it from me.
I am focusing on you.
My arrow, the one and only weapon that I have, I only have…One. Arrow.
The arrow of love, that I have for you, I will let fly and
your heart will be found.
Pierced by the power of my focused intent, my love, for you…
You cannot escape from me. For I am you.
I = U .
I, meaning… I see you. Or U. do you see?
The logic of it?
The Logic of God?
He sees all things.
So you want me. To tell you about you, and we have never met. ok.
so I will tell you. What I see. This isn’t me, this is you. Listen. To your own thoughts
or, should I influence you.
I am just going to speak freely.
Who beyond the sagg. Is Capricorn, the next step along this trail. The circle of life, Who is Capricorn?
Is this you?
And so I am.
What do you think? Who are you? Do I know you? Capricorn. I think so.
Are you sure you want to know who you are? You know your askin me?
I must tell the truth!
Don’t you see? It can be no other way. I must tell the truth.
The truth “is” the only way.
I so hope that you get this.
The truth of the matter. What matters to you. Is of my utmost concern! Did you hear me?
Hello; is there anybody out there? Am I only speaking into the wind? The echo’s of my voice coming back to haunt me.
Let me think.
Who are you?
Who am I?
Lets… see what happens from here. Take a look. At you.
turn the page /* chapter 3.